True Mates Page 10

  “You…think I can really do it?” Philip asked.

  “I think you must learn what it means to be a leader, and what it means to you to be a leader. Every king and queen before you has learned, and created, their own meaning of leadership, and so must you. I have listened to some of your companions, and watched you as well, and I have found you…lacking so far,” Makepeace said softly.

  Philip’s frown deepened. “Lacking is it?”

  Makepeace’s soft expression never wavered as he nodded. “You are unsure of yourself, and unsure of the path before you. It’s like a man preparing to mount a horse, without any understanding of riding. If you try to take the reins as you are now, you’re likely to steer yourself, and any following you, right off a cliff.”

  “And how do I prevent this tragedy?” Philip asked.

  “You must learn what it means to be a leader. First, you must know yourself, once you know yourself and what you stand for, you can work toward it. Once you have that goal, that driving force behind you, you begin to shape the will which will guide you, and your people,” Makepeace explained.

  Philip chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. “And what if I choose wrong?”

  “Being wrong is something a leader cannot afford, but it is a reality of their lives all the same. Yet, a leader who’s willing to dare, to make a decision, even the wrong one, is still better than one too paralyzed to act,” Makepeace answered.

  “And if the act is one that dooms everyone? How is that better than not choosing?” Philip asked.

  “When people take charge of their own destiny, they can forge ahead in ways no one would have believed they could. Just because you think you are doomed does not mean you are. You will never know until you try, and I do mean try in earnest. Just as Jaeger knows his way around the shadows, and how to twist his body or turn his blade, so too do you know how to lead and to command. One of the first things a leader must do, a king most of all, is to know what is right, and what is wrong. Your gut, and your heart, will tell you all you need to know. You must be the one to make the choice Philip, or you will be forever lost,” Makepeace said, hopping down from the tree branch and landing with an enviable grace.

  Philip watched the man as he began to walk away, slowly and patiently. He didn’t need to stop and think about what it was he wanted. Philip had known what he’d wanted since he was a boy and his conversation with Makepeace had only strengthened that desire. Who else had he been dancing around for years? Who else sent his heart fluttering in his chest at the mere sight of him? Whose words could soothe the rough edges of Philip’s nerves, and send a warm flush through him?

  He’d always known he and Jaeger were meant for one another, so why continue to deny it? They were already making plans to resist the worst threat to the kingdom Philip had ever known, who was to say that didn’t somehow tip the cosmic scales in his favor? Maybe it was his heart, not the prophecy, which knew the truth.

  It took nearly another full day before Jaeger returned from his sentry duty. Philip had expected the man to look exhausted, but was pleasantly surprised to find him bright eyed and energetic. Living, even temporarily, out in the wild with the Arden pack was doing wonders for Jaeger’s overall temperament. Philip couldn’t remember a time since they were far younger that he’d seen Jaeger look so calm and at ease with himself. Philip wasn’t sure if it was because they were so removed from the court and its demands, or if the wilds simply suited Jaeger.

  Jaeger’s smile faltered a little when he caught sight of Philip, waiting for him. It was slight, the merest droop of the corner of his lips, but Philip saw it all the same. An ache resonated out from the center of his chest as he waited for Jaeger to approach him, wondering if perhaps he was doing the right thing. Maybe it would have been better to allow Jaeger to stay with the Arden pack, where he would be free of all courtly demands and expectations.

  “Everything okay?” Jaeger asked when he was close enough to be heard.

  Philip nodded, straightening his shoulders. “I need to talk to you.”

  “That’s…not usually something good,” Jaeger said slowly.

  Philip winced. “Well, I hope it’s a good thing.”

  Jaeger’s brow rose, but he nodded and gestured for Philip to lead the way. Philip had spent the better part of the day going over everything he wanted to say to Jaeger. There were many things he’d always wanted to say to his friend, and he wanted to make sure this conversation with Jaeger went perfectly. If there was ever anything he could claim to have a vast store of knowledge over, it was all the things left unsaid between the two of them.

  When they were finally clear of any prying ears, Philip turned to Jaeger. His mouth opened, but no words came out. Jaeger blinked, his brow creeping upward as he waited while Philip’s mouth opened and closed uselessly.

  Jaeger finally reached out, taking hold of Philip’s elbow. “Hey…just say what you need to say.”

  Philip nodded, taking a deep breath and blurting out. “I’m sorry.”

  “What do you have to be sorry about? This is the best thing for us at the moment,” Jaeger said, glancing over his shoulder toward the pack.

  Philip shook his head. “No, that’s not what I’m sorry for.”

  Jaeger chuckled, his fingers still holding Philip’s elbow. “Then, what are you sorry about?”

  “Because I’ve been holding out on you, keeping you at arm’s length when I should have been drawing you in closer,” Philip said in a rush.

  Jaeger frowned. “How…have you been keeping me at arm’s length? You’re my best friend Philip.”

  Philip reached over, taking hold of Jaeger’s hand. “That’s not what I meant. You know what I mean. I’m talking about the one thing you and I just…never talk about. The thing that had me dragging you out to this spot the other night when we were letting ourselves have a genuine good time for once.”

  Jaeger looked down. “It’s not for a lack of wanting.”

  “I know, but it’s been a cruelty, to us both. I should have never allowed anything to get in the way of how we feel about one another,” Philip said.

  Jaeger chuckled. “I’d say the chance of our home being destroyed, and people we care about being killed if you don’t do what a prophecy says is a pretty good reason for not doing it Philip.”

  “We don’t even know if what Orrin said is the truth in the first place. Everything he’s done has been a manipulation to gain control over my father and the throne. He wants to kill me, and take everything away from us, why should we believe the word of a man who’s trying to destroy everything?” Philip demanded.

  Jaeger looked away, shrugging. “I don’t know but are you willing to take the risk?”

  Philip snorted. “Take what risk? That Orrin is a lying, manipulative bastard who’s willing to do and say whatever it takes to get what he wants? Am I willing to risk going against him, for the chance of being with the only person I’ve ever loved?”

  Jaeger looked up, startled. “What?”

  Philip nodded, reaching up to catch Jaeger’s face in his hand, cupping his jaw. “We’ve never let ourselves say it before, not even in a benign way, but I’m saying it now. I love you Jaeger, and I think we’re being given a chance to finally express that with one another. Orrin has done everything he could to keep us apart, and I don’t want to keep following his plan. His plan has done nothing but make us miserable.”

  Jaeger’s eyes widened. “And if he isn’t wrong?”

  Philip could see the thoughts taking shape in Jaeger’s head, hope coming to his eyes. They’d lived their whole lives by the plan of a man who’d been using them for his own ends. The prophecy seemed to be just one more piece of Orrin’s grand plan, meant to keep Philip and Jaeger in their proper place until they could be eliminated.

  Philip smiled, running his thumb over Jaeger’s cheek. “And what if he is? How can something that feels so right, be wrong? I can’t…imagine something that would make us so happy, which would take care of so much, bei
ng the wrong choice.”

  “Well, the whole marrying a royal thing was supposed to be the reason you were ‘crowned in mistletoe’ in the first place,” Jaeger said, though his heart didn’t seem in the protest.

  Those were the words which had been repeated throughout his whole life. Everyone made sure he understood just what was at stake any chance they got, and Philip was sure he would remember the words of the prophecy verbatim until he was old and senile, perhaps even then.

  A memory rose in Philip’s mind. “I had a tutor once, Cristof, who tried to teach me how important words really are. He tried all sorts of things to make the point, but the one I remember the most was when he made me forget what a word meant.”

  Jaeger cocked his head. “Was he a Conjurer?”

  “No, just a scholar who knew a few tricks. And he had me repeat a word, over and over again, the word ‘prince.’ I thought he was trying to make me realize how strong, how important a word it was. You know what actually happened? I forgot what the word meant, after repeating the word to myself repeatedly, it became a jumble of meaningless, purposeless sounds. Cristof told me that it happens to everyone, and that any word or phrase repeated too often will lose its meaning to a person,” Philip explained.

  Jaeger pressed his face against Philip’s hand, smiling. “Is this where you tell me the prophecy has begun losing its meaning to you?”

  Philip shook his head. “No, I mean yes, that’s exactly what’s happened at times, but that’s not what I mean. My point is, that I’ve tried it over the years, and everything I’ve tried has lost its meaning, save for one thing. No matter how many times I say it, in my head or aloud, I can admit I love you, and it always means something to me. It’s the only thing in my life I’ve ever been so sure of, so right about, that I’ve never forgotten it.”

  Jaeger stared at him for the longest time, his mouth parting but no words coming out. The man’s dark eyes searched Philip’s face, widening at whatever he found. A smile formed along Jaeger’s features, slow and hesitant, before widening into a full-fledged grin. Jaeger reached out and grabbed hold of Philip’s side, pulling him in closer.

  “I don’t want to be happy about this but,” Jaeger began, his cheeks growing red.

  Philip smiled. “Well, be happy, because I mean it, and I’m ready to fight even you for the right to try.”

  Jaeger tilted his head back, an open invitation. There was something strangely submissive about the gesture, and Philip felt both his human and wolf stir with excitement. It was so easy sometimes to forget that Jaeger was an omega. Jaeger was often more confident in his abilities and his decisions than Philip, and he rarely showed obvious subservience or submission to anyone, even Philip. There were moments though, and this one was a special one, with Jaeger waiting for Philip to take the lead once again.

  Philip was more than willing to take the offer, bending down and taking Jaeger’s lips with his own. Their second kiss was even better than the first, less desperate and more fulfilling. It felt as if they were sealing the deal, agreeing to the promise the two of them had always wanted to make to one another. It only affirmed how right the two of them felt together, and how wrong the prophecy was. They had one another, as they always had, and they could be with one another as they should have been.

  With an effort of will, Philip pulled from the kiss. There was a dazed look in Jaeger’s eyes and it brought a smile to Philip’s face. There was a warmth swelling in his chest, blossoming out with tendrils of comforting heat to every extremity. They were finally going to do what they should have done ages ago, and the realization was both terrifying and exhilarating.

  Some of the cloudiness in Jaeger’s eyes cleared up, his eyes beginning to narrow. Philip frowned at him, confused at the sudden mood shift as Jaeger cocked his head to look past him. Jaeger’s eyes widened, and Philip felt himself jerk forward, smacking into Jaeger. His friend gave a cry, whether of warning or outrage, Philip didn’t know, but Jaeger was gone, darting toward something behind them.

  Philip felt his knees buckle, his vision swimming. Pain radiated out from the middle of his upper back, and he felt something warm trickling down. Belatedly, he realized he’d been hit with something, and the understanding made the pain grow hotter. The sharp spasms of pain dulled the edges of his vision, the ground beneath him beginning to swim and shift.

  “Not like this,” he moaned, fingers digging into the dirt as he realized he was losing the battle with the growing darkness around his eyes, pitching forward helplessly.

  Chapter Eight

  Jaeger

  His blades were out faster than he could think it, and he darted across the space between the assassin and Philip. Blood flew through the air as he brought the edge of his swords across the man’s throat, dropping him with a gurgle. There were wounds on the mercenary’s body, one of the straggling survivors who apparently had lingered. Jaeger almost felt a moment of begrudging respect for the man’s determination. It took the dedication of the insane or strong willed to wait out Philip until he was alone and distracted, days after the battle, in order to strike. Either Orrin had hired unusually loyal mercenaries, or there had been some of his own people among the fighters.

  His thoughts stuttered to a halt when he heard a soft thud from behind him. Jaeger whirled around, his breath catching in his throat when he saw Philip on all fours, gasping toward the dirt. An arrow stuck out from between his shoulder blades, an accusation of Jaeger’s lack of attention to the threat.

  Jaeger slid as he knelt beside Philip in a hurry, grabbing hold of him before he collapsed completely. “Philip!”

  The Prince’s voice was weak and wavering. “Jaeger?”

  Jaeger gripped him harder, fighting to keep him from faceplanting into the dirt. “I have to take the arrow out and then you have to change.”

  Changing was Philip’s only hope. The Prince had been struck deep and his weakness was a bad sign. The only way to ensure Philip would survive would be to remove the arrow, but if Philip didn’t change into his wolf immediately afterward, he would bleed out. The shift from man to wolf would alleviate the worst of the damage, as the body shifted and changed, it would stitch the wound, accelerating the healing. It was one of many reasons werewolves were both feared and respected on the battlefield, their ability to heal themselves made them a fearsome force.

  He was afraid to turn Philip over, not wanting to risk Philip falling to the ground and driving the arrow in deeper. The Prince was almost unconscious and what little strength he had left was draining out of him quickly.

  Fighting to keep him steady, Jaeger pulled Philip’s face up to look at him. “You have to change, now!”

  Philip’s eyelids drooped, his gaze going foggier and more distant. The shape of his eyes and face were shifting subtly, and Jaeger could see the hair on his body beginning to grow. His prince was trying to follow Jaeger’s commands but was struggling. Desperate, Jaeger pulled his face closer, kissing him. It was nothing like the kisses from before, his lips desperate as he tried to stir some life into his friend.

  The kiss brought a faint smile to Philip’s face, but Jaeger could see that it hadn’t had the intended effect. It was as if the kiss had peeled away the last reserve of strength Philip had, and his eyes began to close.

  More desperate than before, Jaeger winced as an idea came to him. “I’m sorry about this…”

  Grasping the arrow, Jaeger moved it, and Philip’s body went rigid with a sudden hiss. Emboldened, Jaeger tightened his hold on Philip’s face, forcing his pain filled eyes to stare at Jaeger.

  “Change,” Jaeger barked.

  Philip seemed to hear him better, and Jaeger watched as the Prince’s body began to warp and change. As Philip’s legs began to shorten, his hands shrinking into paw pads, he yanked the arrow free. Philip gave a sharp yelp, but his transformation began to come even faster, fueled by pain and anger. Philip’s handsome face stretched, elongating into a fur covered snout where fangs sprouted from his gums. His tail push
ed out from his back, fur replacing the bare skin.

  Then it was done, and a mostly healed wolf stood on wobbly legs before Jaeger. He wasn’t surprised when Philip’s wild gaze turned hazy once more, his legs giving out from beneath him and flopping into the dirt. The wound was raw and angry on Philip’s back, but the Prince was through the worst of it. His body would heal faster as a wolf, but the transformation had done most of the work.

  Jaeger stroked Philip’s fur as his friend’s eyes fluttered closed, finally allowing himself to sink into unconsciousness. He hated having jerked at the arrow, but he wouldn’t feel too guilty for having saved Philip’s life. It was probably more pain than Philip had ever experienced, but Jaeger had seen the fire ignite in Philip’s eyes, washing away the flash of pain and replacing it with a stubborn fury.

  “Is it any wonder Orrin has used every trick in his book to keep you in line? Anything it takes to keep your stubborn ass from telling him to go to hell, and doing what you want. I’ll be so happy to see him go,” Jaeger whispered.

  They were separated from the pack enough that Jaeger didn’t want to drag Philip back, nor did he wish to leave Philip alone in case there were more assassins. When he went searching for firewood, he kept within sight of the clearing they had talked in, making sure he could see Philip. Once he’d gathered enough to create a sizeable fire, Jaeger got to work. Within minutes, a fire flickered and then shot to life among the pieces of wood and lumber he had scrounged for. The old wood of the forest was dry and thick, giving plenty of material for the flames to work with.

  By the time the fire was at its highest, Philip began to stir. Jaeger watched him carefully, maintaining a reasonable distance from the wolf as his eyes opened. He wasn’t sure how much of Philip had been aware as he’d sunk into unconsciousness. Jaeger knew the Prince had probably pulled on the strength of his inner wolf to sustain the transformation through the pain, and it was possible it was still in control. Philip would be peaceful, but a wolf who awoke, fresh from having only known pain, could be dangerous.